Friday, April 20, 2012

The Undercover Birthday Poem

The love was overwhelming.....from our family and Scout's buds, as we recently celebrated his eight birthday.  Eight is great!  I can predict, loads of fun in our future.....

We outlined the evening with a spy theme.  Mac Daddy had front door detail, and interrogated the guests as they arrived.  He was part of an intelligence unit in the Army.....so he is official.....and knew the right questions to ask.....before the boys could receive security clearance into our house.

"Do you change your underwear everyday?"
"Are you carrying anything dangerous or harmful that could blow up the house?
"Do you pick your nose.....do you eat the boogers?

Later we found out that Agent HP-8 was in fact, packing heat, of the Nerf variety.  He was able to get through security somehow.  I think it is a good thing, that Mac Daddy retired.  If if was found out that he missed that one.....our world could be at stake.  MAJOR security breech.

Each guest was fingerprinted....date stamped (so their parents could check their expiration later).....issued their i.d. badges.....and a top secret folder, that held highly confidential tools.  You know like a notebook, pen, flashlight, glow-stick bracelets.  Gotta be prepared.....

After everyone arrived.....they enjoyed the typical party food for eight year old boys.....pizza, chips, pop, broccoli, carrots, grapes, pineapple, black olives (a tradition here.....Scout receives a can of them from Aunt Suzy.....the one who calls me Margaret.....for every holiday she can make up an excuse, to buy them for him).  They filled up on broccoli, carrots, grapes, pineapple and olives.....asked for water to drink.  I think Agent BS-9 lead that peer pressured escapade.  Wonder if his mother gave him a lecture before he came.....or maybe they were saving their Weight Watchers points for the Dark Chocolate Fudge (Nutella filled) cake, iced with Dark Chocolate Mocha icing......and Breyer's Chocolate Reese's ice cream that Agent SV-7.....who just happened to be with us when shopping.....picked out.

They wanted to quickly switch gears and get on with the mission at hand.  It was found out, that a gift that arrived for Scout, had mysteriously disappeared.  They had clues, to figure out what may have happened to it.....was it stolen?  Or just missing?

It was quickly apparent that the clues were to easy.  I am not smarter than a THIRD grader.  Except that one of the clues definitely stumped them.....it was hidden in the linen closet, and the hint for it was related to where towels were stored.  Agent NP-10 wisely answered "depends on the house," while Agent HP-8 (I think he has a future being a covert operative.....he was able to get a gun in the house without Mac Daddy knowing it) answered, "Well......towels are kept in a closet.  That's how we do it." 

Once the present was recovered.....it was time!  The part.....that kids fantasize about all year long.....opening presents!

Scout received countless gifts of variety, from generous souls, that marked the overwhelming evidence of Grace in his life.  A couple of them I want to share with you.....and one in particular that's pretty darn special.....

~He has a new arsenal of automatic powered water weapons.  It would be wise for you not to show up at our house unannounced.

~A CSI Bionic Ear, that evidently Biker Man has called his own.  I left to take kids home, and he told me he was going to bed.....he was so exhausted.  When I came home over an hour later.....he was still up and playing with it, having Scout ask him endless questions in a whisper, to test it's radial capacity.  I guess it really works.....we may have to put some serious restrictions on that one.  Agent HP-8, again, in all his wisdom, piped in and said "better not talk loud when planning the next party."  That's not what I was worried about......

~The missing present turned out to be magical.  Scout's favorite character Jack, from the Magic Tree House books, sent him a red backpack and red All-Star Converse sneakers.....just like what he wears in the books.  I think those shoes may fit me.....

Last but not least.....Scout was given this poem by R2D2, to reveal her and Mac Daddy's gift to him.....


Undercover Birthday Poem  by: R2D2

Go pack your bag
You'll be gone four sleeps
You're headed for adventure
With Meemaw and Peeps!

Go grab your glasses
Go grab your map
Go grab your toothbrush
And your favorite hat.

Go kiss your Mom
Go hug your Papa
Give one to Black Dog
Wave bye to Tala (R2's dog).

Throw out your car seat
Now that your eight
You no longer need it
Isn't that great!

We leave in a week
Cross off every day
If you count up to seven
That's not far away.

Where are we headed?
What direction, which way?
Just watch for the sign
That's says Hershey PA!



Scout was speechless.  I cried.  So very special.....a memory forever.

Guess we should watch "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" this week.....the original one.  Think if Scout watched the one with Johnny Depp, he would cancel his trip.

Wonder if he will see Oompa Loompas?






Friday, April 13, 2012

Operation Daisy Boots ~ Go Hard or Go Home!

I am not the mom of the year.  I do not like to play.  Don't get me wrong.....I love my boy, but I am content just to sit and watch him, as he escapes to his own little world of Star Wars figures.....Lego building.....and spy games.  I do love to play board games.....and we do that quite frequently.  Most often though, you will hear me encouraging Scout to "go play" or "find something to do."  I guess it is the only child in me that learned to self entertain.....Mac Daddy and R2D2 will tell you, that I did it well.  I learned how to be content.....alone.

I have to remind myself that Scout is male.  He is less content to just sit.....to create, write stories, or play in general.  Though ironically, he antiquates what would traditionally be considered female.....he needs a lot of "face time."  Like with most mom's I know.....this can be wearisome sometimes.....especially since Biker Man works a lot.  I am it....on many days.  By the time we have gotten through our daily routine of schooling, errands, and household tasks.....I'm smoked.....wanting to retreat to a corner, stare into space, and twirl my beginning-to-gray locks.  The last thing that I want to do is have my face shoved into the grass while being "arrested".....or to play Rainbow Road on the Wii.....until I am seriously questioning if I am stoned, or if it is just my eyes having gone into sensory overload.  I am not the best playmate for my son.

But one memorable evening, right after Christmas, Scout asked me and Biker Man to play Nerf guns with him.  He had just purchased, with his own money, a whole new arsenal for himself.  He "issued" his older, smaller model Nerf guns to us.....with only a few bullets.  By all appearances, he could have leveled our 10 mile stretch of road and farms, with his weaponry.  It was also evident, that he was confident of claiming a victory.  Of course, my initial internal response was to bow out gracefully, and to allow Biker Man the honor of thirty minutes.....of the all out madness, of a seven year old fire fight.....but Biker Man looked at me in such an appealing way.....that I could not refuse him.  "He did issue you your own gun.....with a few bullets" he said with longing eyes, an alluring voice, and kisses wanting to jump from his lips to mine.  "Okay" I whispered, as my heart got snared into a love trap.  I turned and told Scout that I was going to play, and he literally whooped a war cry.  I began my plan of attack.

Now.....I got away with diddly squat when I was a kid.  Mac Daddy was in Psychological Operations in the Army.....and could read me as clear as a Dick and Jane book.  I know he used a few of his tactics on me growing up.....and I am sure it worked every time.  He was also very good, at scaring me.  So from those wholesome experiences of communication, and getting the pee scared out of me (literally) a time or two..... I picked up a few tricks over the years.  Ones that Biker Man didn't even know I had up my sleeve.

Once it was decided that we were going to play, things began moving forward so we could start.  Guns were pulled out.....bullets counted and "issued".....teeth brushed (Didn't you know?  All men go into battle with clean teeth).....and the dog taken out (he really had to go).  While the guys were in a whirlwind of activity.....I quietly took my gun, and ammunition, and went to hide.  They didn't even see me disappear into the dark upstairs.

While sitting there quietly in the dark, I counted my bullets.  I was "issued" five......but had about ten to fifteen, as I had been pilfering them over the last couple of weeks.  I had known in the back of my mind, that I would need them for bribing or the like, at some point.  Tonight was my night.  I was gonna play with my whole heart and soul.....Scout would never look at me the same.

About twenty minutes passed.....I heard Scout asking, "Where's Mommy?"  To which Biker Man would reply, "I don't know Buddy.  Maybe she's in the bathroom.  We'll wait.  Are you ready?  Got your gear?"  When I didn't appear or make any noise of life.....for a long time.....it was then, that Biker Man told Scout....."Buddy, I think Mommy is ALREADY playing the game."  He giggled excitedly in response, and ran upstairs, eager to take me down.  As he moved, Biker Man made it clear to him that it was Papa and Mommy vs. Scout.  "That's okay Papa.  I'm gonna win!"

Now, our house isn't large, but it's not tiny, there are some good hiding places.  It took Scout about ten minutes to find me in our moderately sized three bedroom upstairs.  While he desires a future with the CIA.....it is not in his blood.  He has a while to go before the lights are turned on in regards to the BASICS of espionage science.....my little spy is not with the program.  When he did find me he over celebrated, and turned his back.....I was outta there, with only one bullet discharged, I quickly confiscated the multiple bullets that he unloaded on me.....I am sure he had less than half of his ammo left.  He didn't realize.....that I was already winning.

As he clumsily recovered.....I disappeared down the hall into one of the other rooms and behind the door.  The light was off.....He mamby-pambied around, running up and down the stairs, like he was really doing something.  He kept shooting his bullets up the stairs into nothing.  Again, I waited quietly.  Then, my guys must have issued a cease fire against each other.....because there was silence, and another discussion broke out as to where I was.....

Scout:  "Where's Mommy?"
Biker Man:  "I don't know.  You have to go look for her."
Scout:  "I think she's up there.....in one of the dark rooms."
Biker Man:  "Well.....you have to go after her."
Scout:  "It's dark up there."
Biker Man:  "Buddy.....you can't be scared.  Spies go into dark places all the time.....it's part of it."
Scout:  "Will you go with me?"
Biker Man:  "No.  I am on Mommy's team.  You need to be brave."

I heard his little footsteps coming up the stairs.....I guessed that he looked back at Biker Man a couple of times because I heard him tell Scout....."go on."  I the floors creaked closer to me as he approached the room I was in.  I watched his shadow through the crack in the door I was standing behind.  As he stepped into the dark room.....I screamed.....as loud as I could.

We think Scout peed his pants.....or more.  He wouldn't admit anything.....

Biker man couldn't believe it.....he started laughing so hard.  Scout flew down the stairs, and began crying.  "Buddy.  Spies don't cry."  He reassured Scout.  "SHE'S NOT PLAYING BY THE RULES!"  Scout complained.  He was SO mad.....

In the meantime.....I dashed to another location.  I was feeling no mercy.  Go hard or go home.  I was ruthless..... 

I switched the hall light off, at the top of the stairs, and again waited in the dark.  At the bottom of the stairs, Scout was regaining his composure and confidence.  He flipped the light switch on.  I quietly leaned out of the door, from the room I was in.....without him seeing me.....I switched the light off again.  Scout started crying.....again.  "Mommy is scaring me!"  He whined to his dad.  "Buddy, Mommy is winning.  You'd better get up there and find her."

That fueled Scout for a moment.....he came dashing upstairs with full fire.  I unloaded a bullet or two.....he ran away, with his back to me.  So I ran into another location and hid.  This time, I was in the dark master bathroom underneath the vanity.  He saw where I went.....and with trepidation, he crept towards the door.  He began flinging 7 year old foul language....."You stupid!.....You're an idiot!.....You big fat......"  Then he went blank.....couldn't think of another slander.  Good thing.  He stepped into the door.  I started barking like an obnoxious dog, at a junk yard.

That put him over the edge.  In a matter of 15 minutes or less, the game was over.  Biker Man was afraid Scout may need mental, and emotional intervention.

We all took a moment to calm down and regroup.  Scout was so upset and angry.  "You didn't play by the rules."  "There were no rules Buddy." I responded.  "You just didn't expect Mommy to be so good at Nerf war."  "No we didn't!"  Biker Man piped in, with a twinkle in his eye.....(he was impressed).

"Buddy.....I want you to think about our game.  How many bullets do you have left?"  I inquired.  "None." Scout responded.  "See how many I have....."  I showed him my bullets, and pointed out the fact that I had many.  "I won.....not by power.  But with my mind.  I was able to make you hesitate, and somewhat fearful.....my tactics played tricks on your mind.  That is how I won.  That is what being a spy is all about.  Spies are VERY smart.....you have to do well in school.....be a good listener, follow instructions, and be a good observer, to be a spy.  You MUST be brave, and overcome fear."  He listened quietly.....and then gave me a hug.....for playing with him.

A friend told me that he would never forget that evening.....or what he learned.  I overheard him telling R2D2, a few days later, about it.  "You don't want to play with Mommy.  She's R-E-A-L-L-Y good!"  I realized that despite Scout's upset or anger with me while playing.....I gained some respect from him, and earned part of his heart.  But.....

.....he hasn't asked me to play since.

In the meantime.....I continue to seize opportunities to pilfer bullets......to be ready for next time.


Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Happy Daisy ~ Things That Make Me Laugh

We have all heard it said,  "laughter is the best medicine."  I know that the majority of us could speak to this, and would agree.  I certainly do.  But how many of us, in the daily, mundane activities of life, would say that they purposely seek out this medicine?  Not very many.  Most of us, me included, are usually only treated with this preventative elixir, by happenstance.....as a result of something funny someone says or does, or by something seen or heard via a media source.

Friend.....life IS hard.  It IS painful.  It IS serious.  There is no getting around it, and we would be fools not to grasp the reality of it, in our own lives, or in care for others.  But, as we walk through our journeys of life.....the highs and lows, in and outs, ups and downs.....there is one tool that can be used, if it's wielded correctly......that can be the balm of Gilead in our own hearts, and in the souls of others.....LAUGHTER!

Many people are naturally gifted in the area of quick wit and humor.  That would not be me.  There are many though, that have artistic genius, and turned their painful experiences into a source of joy.  Those who have known me the longest.....or well.....wouldn't use the word "funny" in a top ten list, describing my character.  It has only been somewhat recently, that I have been able to impart a mediocre spark of humor, into the hearts of others.  One of the greatest compliments that I have received, through feedback from my blog, interactions with others on Facebook, or on occasion in person, is....."that is so funny!"

It has been a personal goal of mine, that our family laugh more.  I also LOVE to make others laugh!  Not to gain attention.....but to give others a gift for their soul.  Just like all of you, we have jobs, errands, chores, school, activities, family members who are ill, and friends who are in crisis and need.  Life is so full, and can get so bogged down.  We forget to stop, and take a moment to enjoy life around us.....even just for a second.  So today, I thought I would share some things that make me laugh.....in hopes that you would too!

1 ~ My friends.  American Beauty has been one of my oldest friends, that I can honestly say has given me a lifetime of laughter.  If I am going to be with her, I have to wear protection of some sort.  She is one, that has a gift of quick wit and creativity.  She can turn any moment into a doubled over, pants tinkling experience.  Surround yourself with people that make you laugh.  Purpose to be with them.  Let them know that their gift of humor is a blessing in your life.  Not long ago, I expressed to one of my Facebook friends, how much I appreciated her hysterical posts.  I know it sounds corny.  Who cares.  Her and I live states away from each other, and where never close friends, but her insightful humor is such a regular gift in my life.

2 ~ Our pets.  Animals have their own personalities.....and for those of you who are animal people, know, what a source of entertainment they can be.  Why do our cats like to fetch Scouts Nerf bullets, like a dog?  Why do they attack paintbrushes?  Don't know.  But it is fun to watch.  When they are wrestling, running after one another, or fighting, Biker Man acts as Howard Cosell, ringside at a boxing match.  Then there's Black Dog.....don't know where to start here, except that he has taken an interest in open toilets lately.....

3 ~ People watching.....you name the public place.  Our society has immeasurable opportunities to laugh.  Just look around you, add a bit of carefully chosen, and harmless commentary.....viola!  Free entertainment.

4 ~ Professional comics.  I am sure you have your favorite, but here are a few of mine, with a link to get you started.  Here is Bill Cosby, and his chocolate cake routine (http://youtu.be/sRmN4KnfPxQ).  He of course is classic.  Nothing I say can give him justice. 

Tim Hawkins, on turning 40.....a reality in my life this year (http://youtu.be/-z98Yev1v-k ).  He is a family friendly favorite, for a few years now (say that fast five times).  No worries of language usage, or any topics that are inappropriate for your kids.  But.....HE. IS. HYSTERICAL!

My recent find is Brian Regan (http://youtu.be/Rmun8GK6o2c), here he is, on buying a refrigerator.  I have a couple of his routines in queue with Netflix.  Think I may watch one tonight. With the dawn of Internet, and You Tube, the sources for a great belly buster are endless.

5 ~ Pioneer Woman.  If you are a regular Daisy Boots reader, then you already know my obsession with her.  What drew me to her, was her book Black Heels to Tractor Wheels.  It is the story of how she met and fell in love with her husband.  Before reading this book, I had heard of her.  But I got sucked into her blog, after this read.  It is so much fun.....her skilled humor is cheap therapy.  Find something funny or FUN to read.  Think you don't have time to read something, that is not promoting "growth," isn't spiritual, or serious?  I would like to respectfully appeal to your whole being.....who said enjoying a light read that is fun or funny isn't growth or spiritual?

6 ~ Biker Man.  His underlying dry wit, usually comes out with those that he is closest to, or spends the most time with.  What a treat it is to be a part of that circle!  For me, hearing him laugh is music to my hears.....laughter is contagious!  Do you have walls up that impede you from laughing freely.....or quickly?  Things to serious?  Lighten your load.....laugh with those around you.

Last but not least.....

7 ~ Scout.  Many of you have a kid, or two.....or three....or four.....or many more in your life.....so you know how their antics, can keep you rolling.  As I have shared before, Scout's middle name is "he shall laugh" and we sure named him correctly.  His goofy.....almost 8 year old self, keeps us on our toes, and laugh lines in our faces.  Spend time with a child that is close to you.....or ask to borrow one for a few hours.  Most Mom's I know, could use the break.....and as Scout told me the other day, when leaving him with R2D2....."Shoo!  I need a break from you too!"

What makes you laugh?  Who are the people around you that keep you rolling?  Read something lately that is noteworthy humor......please share!

Think I may eat my lunch watching Brian Regan don't want to wait for a laugh.......makes an ordinary day, a little less ordinary.

Monday, April 2, 2012

Biker Babe on ~ My Bride Price

Biker Man and I celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary this summer.  Without question.....Biker Man would agree.....it is a miracle that we are still married.  For us,  it is but by the insane grace, mercy, love and provision, of the One who gave all.....without this, the towel would have long been thrown in.

We have been sobered over the years, and even recently, of seven couples who were influential in our lives, or that were in our close circle.....who called it quits. One of the six, the wife just didn't want to be married anymore. One of the six, both partners cheated.  Five of the six fell, due to the husband betraying his wife.....of those, one that we know for sure, was dangerously abusive.  She had to leave ultimately for the safety of her, and her children.

Just last night, Biker Man and I talked about how we are not immune to divorce.  We will never be immune to it.

Ever.

It is my humble opinion, that no marriage is.  Marriage is a living organism.  It is a life that breathes.....needs fed.....pruned.....watered.  If you choose not to nurture, and protect it.....it will die.  It doesn't matter if you are "religious" or not.....the statistics show this clearly.   We are but dust.....just mere humans.  Sooo.....as we approach our milestone this year, I have been pondering some memories.  I thought would share one, which is significant, in our short history.....and set part of the foundation, that we stand on.

Many are drawn to the customs and traditions of days gone by, when it comes to "courting" and marriage.  Many cultures in our world today, still honor arranged marriages, dowries, or a bride price.  We have heard sweet stories of African men, paying the father of his potential bride,  a certain number of cows.  This would be a bride price.....the more cows he had to pay, the more valuable she was.  After doing some light research on this..... I realized, this is serious business!

Are the cows girls or boys?  Is a girl cow called a cow?  Dunno.....
Are they dairy or beef?  Can a boy cow be a dairy cow?  Dunno that either.....
Are they old or young?
Are they sick or well?
Are they fleshy?
Are they dead or alive?

All of these things factor into the equation, when using cows to pay a bride price.  Who knew?

Apparently Biker Man.  He paid a bride price to me, prior to asking Mac Daddy for my hand in marriage.....

Yep.  Not kidding.....although mine wasn't romanticized with cows.

He just paid off my credit card......which was looming with some irresponsible spending on my part, and post college expenses.  He wanted us to get off on a responsible, healthy and secure financial foundation.  He believed in debt free living.

We still believe in it today.....

Things haven't always been easy, living with such a financial philosphy.....we have had to make sacrifices, and we haven't been without conflict over finances.  But in general, this one rule, has caused things to be much simpler over the years.  I am so thankful for my Biker Man, and his conviction in this area.

I found it interesting, during my informal research, to learn the value of a cow.  Sooo.....if Biker Man had arrived in front of my parents house, in a big diesel rig.....pulling a trailer with my bride price in it, this would have been my value:

About 500 sick cows (maybe a reasonable choice, if either of my parents were a veterinarian)

~OR~

One half of a dead, fleshy beef cow (don't think I have any commentary to add here, nor does my mom have a freezer big enough)

~OR~

One live.....young.....female dairy cow (here we go!)

Definitely felt like a dairy cow when Baby Scout was born.  Man!  What a contraption of a breast pump the hospital sent home.  It was a two pumper.....I had only seen a one pumper before.  Coulda' lined up with Bessie and the gals down at Fill~Em~Up Farms......

.....anyway. 

What are some memories that you have.....of ways that your spouse, or loved one, solidified their love and commitment to you?