Biker Man and I celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary this summer. Without question.....Biker Man would agree.....it is a miracle that we are still married. For us, it is but by the insane grace, mercy, love and provision, of the One who gave all.....without this, the towel would have long been thrown in.
We have been sobered over the years, and even recently, of seven couples who were influential in our lives, or that were in our close circle.....who called it quits. One of the six, the wife just didn't want to be married anymore. One of the six, both partners cheated. Five of the six fell, due to the husband betraying his wife.....of those, one that we know for sure, was dangerously abusive. She had to leave ultimately for the safety of her, and her children.
Just last night, Biker Man and I talked about how we are not immune to divorce. We will never be immune to it.
It is my humble opinion, that no marriage is. Marriage is a living organism. It is a life that breathes.....needs fed.....pruned.....watered. If you choose not to nurture, and protect it.....it will die. It doesn't matter if you are "religious" or not.....the statistics show this clearly. We are but dust.....just mere humans. Sooo.....as we approach our milestone this year, I have been pondering some memories. I thought would share one, which is significant, in our short history.....and set part of the foundation, that we stand on.
Many are drawn to the customs and traditions of days gone by, when it comes to "courting" and marriage. Many cultures in our world today, still honor arranged marriages, dowries, or a bride price. We have heard sweet stories of African men, paying the father of his potential bride, a certain number of cows. This would be a bride price.....the more cows he had to pay, the more valuable she was. After doing some light research on this..... I realized, this is serious business!
Are the cows girls or boys? Is a girl cow called a cow? Dunno.....
Are they dairy or beef? Can a boy cow be a dairy cow? Dunno that either.....
Are they old or young?
Are they sick or well?
Are they fleshy?
Are they dead or alive?
All of these things factor into the equation, when using cows to pay a bride price. Who knew?
Apparently Biker Man. He paid a bride price to me, prior to asking Mac Daddy for my hand in marriage.....
Yep. Not kidding.....although mine wasn't romanticized with cows.
He just paid off my credit card......which was looming with some irresponsible spending on my part, and post college expenses. He wanted us to get off on a responsible, healthy and secure financial foundation. He believed in debt free living.
We still believe in it today.....
Things haven't always been easy, living with such a financial philosphy.....we have had to make sacrifices, and we haven't been without conflict over finances. But in general, this one rule, has caused things to be much simpler over the years. I am so thankful for my Biker Man, and his conviction in this area.
I found it interesting, during my informal research, to learn the value of a cow. Sooo.....if Biker Man had arrived in front of my parents house, in a big diesel rig.....pulling a trailer with my bride price in it, this would have been my value:
About 500 sick cows (maybe a reasonable choice, if either of my parents were a veterinarian)
One half of a dead, fleshy beef cow (don't think I have any commentary to add here, nor does my mom have a freezer big enough)
One live.....young.....female dairy cow (here we go!)
Definitely felt like a dairy cow when Baby Scout was born. Man! What a contraption of a breast pump the hospital sent home. It was a two pumper.....I had only seen a one pumper before. Coulda' lined up with Bessie and the gals down at Fill~Em~Up Farms......
What are some memories that you have.....of ways that your spouse, or loved one, solidified their love and commitment to you?